Ever feel like you get more from talking to a wall or an inanimate object? I feel that way almost everyday even when I have my significant other by my side. Maybe he is why I feel that way. You know how a person would look at someone but don't really see them. That is how he looks at me. Anyone out there reading this, please, please, please not look at someone you profess to love without really seeing them. It makes them feel invisible. To me that is worse that feeling ugly. I know I am not ugly. A month short of 32 but just the other day someone almost backed into a friend of mine while looking at me. I don't crack mirrors when I stand in front of them but somehow he just doesn't see me. Being female and all, I expect more affection and love with each passing day. Me... I don't even get a kiss or an 'I love you' on our anniversary. Would he have remembered to wish me if I did not wosh him first?
I forget what it feel like to converse with him.. Sometimes I look at him and wonder what to say. Is that normal? Maybe after being together for 11 years we just ran out of things to say to each other besides 'Have you paid the bill' or 'What are we having for dinner tonight?'. I want to go out. Have fun. Dance. Listen to music. Go bowling. Walk on the beach. Gazed at. Kissed.. Hugged... If that's too much to ask.. At least look at me... I am here. Still alive. Still in your life. I want to feel in love. Loved. Cherished. Appreciated. Visible.
I look at myself... What am I now? Reduced to talking to... a blog...
Maybe I will come and write again... Maybe I won't. I might since I want to talk to someone and the one at home won't...
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